Blog Post: FC Izaac
Married Men and Repression: How to Use Their Pain for Your Art
25 October 2018
We kiss under the hotel room shower.
“I love my wife,” he says sincerely, “but I just…”
It’s rehearsed, like he’s explained this a thousand times.
I hum as if I empathise. Maybe I do.
We high-fived when we said goodbye.
That was the night I finally understood the fascination with married men.
He emailed me the next day and told me to stop smoking.
(I said I would but I still haven’t.)
Since then I paid more attention to the married men in gay narratives.
Straight men are unattainable. Cheating is something that happens all the time, however it’s the taboo that I believe adds to the curiosity around it.
Before this experience I hadn’t fully realised that for some people it’s a by-product of living with repression and heteronormativity.
I found an old porn film, which ended with the two men cuddling and professing their love for each other and their desire to leave their wives.
In my search for more material I found this theme woven into lots of the media surrounding gay men and it eventually became a big part of my work.
My work Princess Peach, selected for New Contemporaries, is an initial work inspired by desire and deception. This idea eventually led to the video installation If She Can Sleep Through This Storm She Can Sleep Through Anything.
Sometimes the high-five guy sends me emails. I reply, but we haven’t met up again.